what's playing: playradioplay! is a band i discovered recently. their music is trance-y.. and very interesting. not quite like anything i've heard before.
is it what we do? what we say? what we think?
for every person that i know, i can think of something for which i would think, "that's so ________!" (like robert with his "something iffy is going on here..." face of skepticism, or eric with his spontaneous "HAHA GOT ME!" expression)
people have their own personality traits, characteristics, and mannerisms, that's for sure. but are those what define a person?
which brings me to the question.. can people change?
here. think about your younger 5-year old self. and then your 12-year old self. and now your present self.
are you the same person?
have you changed?
have you grown?
does growth imply change?
are you still the same you back then?
i wonder if i've changed.. i often hear people say that i've grown, but what does that actually mean?
compared to, say, five years ago, i can think of a few differences. i've gotten more comfortable with social situations, more outgoing. i've gotten more "mature" by learning from different experiences that i've been through. i've gotten more knowledgeable through the regular intake of information around me, and school and stuff.
but am i different? i'm still the same old me, right? really, i'm asking you that. for however long you've known me, have i changed at all? after all, you would be the one to notice, not myself.
let's say for example you have a car. and say you replace each part of the car piece by piece, until every piece of the car has been swapped with a new one. you still end up with a car, "your" car, but now it has entirely different pieces. is it still your same original car? at which point (which piece?) did it change?
this analogy kind of misses out on the whole aspect of the human mind, which is kind of a big deal, but you get what i'm saying. when it comes to a human being, is there an "essence" or "soul" of a person that doesn't change, even if their external surface (words, actions) changes?
over time, we mature and adjust the way that we think about things. the way that we make decisions. the way that we prioritize. the way that we live, quite frankly.
but sometimes, i hear the line, "you're a good person. don't ever change."
what does that second part mean exactly?
do we have the choice to change ourselves into bad people?
is that supposed to be encouragement to not do bad stuff, going off of the assumption that what we do defines us?
does that mean we should only make good changes to ourselves?
what makes a good change "good"?
what do you think?
can someone change?
what makes someone who they are?
is there a concrete and permanent identity for each person?
.. have you changed recently?
[wouldn't you like to know]
-when i was younger, i often went with my parents to chinese restaurants. i would see other people have cans of soda, and i would ask my parents if i could get one too. they always told me that other people brought it themselves, because then i would know i couldn't get one since the restaurant didn't have any, and that i would never have thought ahead enough to ask to bring a soda before we left for the restaurant. tricky. very tricky.
-i always cherish gifts i receive. and so, when i receive gifts that are use-able or edible, i always hold onto it and put it on my shelf or something so i don't use it up. that's why i tend to not like "perishable" gifts, because then i feel bad not using/eating the gift, but then i would personally feel bad if i did because the gift is gone! but eventually, it'll go bad and go to waste, so then i'd feel bad again! because of internal conflicts like these, i end up with uneaten chocolate penguins in their original packaging that i got for christmas maybe two years ago .. and i JUST might get around to eating them. but probs not.
-you know the kneepits of jeans, where the creases are? and when you sit down and you stretch out your legs and you can feel them? i love feeling them.
