Saturday, October 30, 2010

poomf goes the pigeon

some time ago, i was driving on i-287, going a cruising 75mph.

as i was driving along, i saw a pigeon standing on the ground right ahead of me in my lane, with my car fast approaching it. keep in mind that i saw it for all of one second before i .. well, hit it with my right tire. poomf.

a wave of guilt and sadness hit me immediately, as abrupt as the pigeon's death.

yes, i felt sad. and guilty. and that feeling stayed with me for a little bit.

but, it got me thinking. i feel bad about accidentally killing this pigeon. why? because this pigeon was alive. and now its life is no longer in existence. but how many other animals have i killed and not even given a thought to?

is all animal life created equal?

puppies. penguins. jellyfish. spiders. giraffes. ants. hamsters. goldfish.

i'm sure that as you read over that list, you and i both naturally see the lives of certain animals as more valuable than others. is this right?

is it okay to treat spiders as the spawn of the devil while we love on bunnies because they're so adorable?

do people (who care at all about animal life) eat chicken instead of beef because cow lives are more valuable than chicken lives?

does the animal being bigger mean its life is worth more than the smaller animal?

also, i believe that while animals are alive and feel pain and have emotions, only humans have souls.

what do you guys think?

Saturday, October 9, 2010

thought 4

is it bad to feel sentimental about things?

Thursday, August 19, 2010

thought 3

when did the music we listen to become our identity?

Thursday, August 5, 2010

thought 2

i caught a fly in mid-air today with my bare hand.

i love random, cool, almost-useful skills.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

thought 1

to think that our kids won't ever get to laugh about their parents' chinglish talking, fobby accents, or ridiculous asian mentalities.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

summer is nice


this is the definition of relaxation.

a few things learned so far..

hardly anyone replies to emails, but offering cookies to people who reply generates more responses! really!

water polo is probably the worst sport in the world for me to play.

volleyball by day, laser tag by night = fun overload

(my music player all of a sudden started working! yay!)

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

the birth of lawlkward

6/7/10
Tiffany Chen: and yes t prettyman is awesome
Preston Chang: yes yes :}
Tiffany Chen: weird face
Preston Chang: what do you think of it?
Tiffany Chen: about the face?
Tiffany Chen: idk how you'd smile liek that haha
Preston Chang: hahah
Preston Chang: yeah
Preston Chang: maybe that's why i like it
Preston Chang: :>
Tiffany Chen: AWKARD
Preston Chang: ^ LOL now THAT'S awkward
Tiffany Chen: AKWARD
Tiffany Chen: AWWKARD
Tiffany Chen: AKWWARD
Preston Chang: HAHA
Tiffany Chen: AKARD
Tiffany Chen: WAWKARD
Preston Chang: way awkward
Preston Chang: wawkward
Tiffany Chen: wawkward
Tiffany Chen: lawl
Preston Chang: lawlkward
Preston Chang: hahahh
Preston Chang: that is genius
Tiffany Chen: HAHAHAHAHAH
Tiffany Chen: I LIKE IT
Preston Chang: PERFECT
Tiffany Chen: HAHAHAHA
Preston Chang: an actual useful new word
Preston Chang: for funny awkward situations
Preston Chang: not JUST awkward
Preston Chang: but FUNNY
Preston Chang: LAWLKWARD
Tiffany Chen: HAHAHAHAHHA
Tiffany Chen: I REALLY LIKE IT
Tiffany Chen: genius

Sunday, June 13, 2010

indie

q: why did i always find it hard to give fall out boy a try?
q: why did i always refuse to watch naruto?
a: because everyone was into it!

at the time, i didn't know why exactly i was particularly disinterested and resistive to these things. i just felt like i didn't wanna.

that was a few years ago. in hindsight, it's so obvious!

i have an indie complex! :OOOOO

now, i've actually only very recently heard about this definition of indie, and the "indie complex" itself, specifically, at memorial day retreat.

to me, indie was simply a description of bands and their music, based off of how well-known it was. i didn't know about the indie groups and magazines and their beliefs etc etc, and i still don't.

story: i started listening to owl city and developing a real taste and affection for their music around last spring. i went to see owl city in september of last year, just around the time "fireflies" started populating the radio stations, before they got big. it was AWESOME. i totally dug(?) their ocean eyes album, as well, which i got shortly after that.

but once they started getting more popular, i starting finding it "weird" (personally) to mention owl city as one of my favorite artists. moreover, it even felt weird to listen to owl city on my own time.

money question: why?

random thoughts:
it doesn't seem special anymore, that i like it.
if i say i like it, i'm just another one of the mainstream population.
does that mean i don't want other people to like the music i like? certainly not! quite the contrary, actually, i love sharing music i like with other people!

and here is where.. i don't know anymore. (this is far from a conclusive entry.)

i'm really interested in the psychology behind this whole indie thing.

i'm also interested in if this is a common thing for people to feel.

do any of you share similar feelings? is this something that people easily recognize about themselves?

-why don't some people use question marks when they talk online? is it a personal decision? is it out of laziness?
-i always wear boxers under swim trunks.
-swim trunks = board shorts?
-i think my music player is broken. oh well. fix it some other time.
-mcd's fries > bk fries. 7-4. win. take that, dan! :P

Saturday, May 15, 2010

bike > trike

my parents do this cool thing where they travel places together every now and then. and, whether out of obligation or not, they invite me to go along with them. this brings up the all-too-familiar dilemma of whether or not i should tag along and be a third wheel.

this past Christmas, they decided to go to NYC on a two-day trip to see the sights, and stay at a hotel for the night. i decided not to go.

a few months ago, they went to washington d.c. to see the cherry blossom festival. didn't go here either.

this week, they're going to atlantic city. now, i haven't been to atlantic city before, unlike the other two places above, so i'm interested in checking it out.

however, the reason i usually don't go with my parents on these mini-vacations is because i want someone to hang out with! i feel like it would just end up being me and my music and be mad boring.

my parents are cute, though.

i want to do this when i get married.

:]

what do you guys think?

Sunday, April 18, 2010

too famous for me

i am on a we the kings high right now, after purchasing and listening to their latest album, smile kid. IT IS SOOOO GOOD AHHHH I WANNA DANCE.

...

i really like meeting band members, especially of bands that i am a fan of.

it's funny, though, because the actual process of meeting them and chatting with them is so so nerve-wracking! i am a shy person, and even moreso when it comes to someone that i am a fan of.

i never really imagined i'd get to meet and talk to some of the band members that i did, from the likes of tim be told, lighthouse, david crowder, and one of my personal favorite favorites, amber pacific. and so when i do end up seeing them in the flesh up close and shaking their hands, it's so .. SURREAL.

i end up feeling really nervous and jittery and trying to talk too much while at the same time having no idea what to say. honestly, in my mind, all i'm thinking about is how i can quickly get away and end it on a good note.

silly.

what "famous people" have you guys met? how did that go?

-i never say "um" online. i think it's awkward.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

pw plz

my computer is freeeee to use.

my computer used to have a password on the log-in screen, but i gave it to everyone who asked anyway. that, and i only ever had to enter it whenever i had to restart my computer for whatever reason (which was rare because i never turn my computer off or lock it or have it set to ever go into standby or sleep or whatever). that made me realize that there was no point to have it. so i removed it.

when i moved into the suite at the beginning of this year, i made an interesting realization: everyone locked their computers when not in use and required a password to unlock them. and also had a need to incessantly lock it when not in use (to varying degrees).

i didn't think much of it at first, until i realized that no one (save for matthew) would actually tell me the passwords to unlock their computers if i wanted to quickly use it for something. he might unlock it for me, but nope, wouldn't give me the password no matter what. most of them also made it a point to lock it whenever they weren't going to use it, some the instant he left the computer, others only when leaving for an extended period of time.

i didn't, and still don't, quite get the point of these passwords and incessantly locking.

to a small extent, it makes me feel like there's no trust here! that, or we have some weird stuff we wanna hide. most everyone leaves their computer in his own room (as opposed to using it often outside of the suite), so that rules out the reasoning of strangers using their computers.

and yeah, i guess i wouldn't want anyone reading my emails or chats or something, but i trust everyone enough to know they wouldn't read through all my archives of conversations and go out and tell the world or anything. and in the case someone does glance upon a snippet of a conversation, so what? i know they wouldn't make a big deal out of it.

on the other hand, just because my computer is an open book to everyone else doesn't mean i'm going to treat their computers the same way if they kept them unlocked. at most i use it to look something up, and only when necessary.

the bottom line is, i just don't get the big deal about passwords and locking computers. i'm sure you all have your own reasons and such.

i'm really curious as to what your take is on this subject. do you constantly keep your computer locked?

about [we shot the moon - tunnel vision] -- i really like this group. why? 'cause it's the new group that jonathan jones (the lead singer of waking ashland) started after waking ashland split up. i was pretty sad that waking ashland split up because i loved their composure album, and even some songs of their final (and not as good) album, the well. and i only found out a few days ago that he started this group! AWESOME! i am so happy.

[r]
-when i was younger, my handwriting was pretty bad and for important things, like putting my name with sharpie on something i owned, i asked my sister to write it for me. and i would always marvel at how neat her handwriting was. i think my handwriting can now hold its own against katie's. >:]
-i have this thing where i like to fart in little bits at a time. some of you know this. heeheehe.
-i have this other thing where when i burp, i keep it in my mouth to suppress the sound, and then i blow it away so it doesn't get on anyone. ehheehee.

Friday, March 12, 2010

all too familiar ..

(11:21:43 PM) Eric Chen: yo
(11:21:45 PM) Eric Chen: questino
(11:21:54 PM) Preston Chang: sups
(11:22:03 PM) Eric Chen: say you were walking to class
(11:22:12 PM) Eric Chen: and in the distance
(11:22:16 PM) Eric Chen: you saw someone you know
(11:22:23 PM) Eric Chen: walking towards you
(11:22:29 PM) Preston Chang: you didn't ask me this already?
(11:22:31 PM) Preston Chang: but keep going
(11:22:32 PM) Eric Chen: when do you say hi/wave?
(11:22:43 PM) Eric Chen: cause if you do it when ur really far away
(11:22:45 PM) Preston Chang: LOL
(11:22:46 PM) Eric Chen: what would you do
(11:22:53 PM) Eric Chen: when they were like right in front?
(11:22:53 PM) Preston Chang: WOW!
(11:22:56 PM) Preston Chang: i always have that dilemma too!
(11:22:56 PM) Eric Chen: do you say hi again?
(11:23:04 PM) Eric Chen: dude i'm freakin distraught
(11:23:07 PM) Preston Chang: alrihgt
(11:23:10 PM) Preston Chang: here's how you do it
(11:23:28 PM) Preston Chang: 1) you see them from far away
(11:23:41 PM) Preston Chang: if they don't see you yet
(11:23:45 PM) Preston Chang: avoid eye contact
(11:23:47 PM) Preston Chang: until you're closer
(11:23:50 PM) Preston Chang: and then pretend you just saw them
(11:23:54 PM) Eric Chen: OMG
(11:23:55 PM) Preston Chang: and be like, oh HEY!
(11:23:56 PM) Eric Chen: thats what i do
(11:23:59 PM) Preston Chang: SCORE
(11:24:04 PM) Preston Chang: if they see you too while you're still far away
(11:24:08 PM) Preston Chang: say hi
(11:24:09 PM) Preston Chang: and wave
(11:24:16 PM) Preston Chang: (because it'd be awkward now to in this case)
(11:24:16 PM) Eric Chen: yes of course
(11:24:20 PM) Preston Chang: and then make small talk when you get closer
(11:24:24 PM) Preston Chang: if you actually WANT to talk
(11:24:27 PM) Preston Chang: slow down or stop
(11:24:30 PM) Eric Chen: omg so much pressure
(11:24:30 PM) Preston Chang: otherwise keep walking
(11:24:34 PM) Eric Chen: thinking of small talk
(11:24:35 PM) Preston Chang: kind of "on an agenda" feeling
(11:24:35 PM) Eric Chen: topics
(11:24:40 PM) Preston Chang: not really
(11:24:41 PM) Preston Chang: go with easy ones
(11:24:45 PM) Eric Chen: like how are you
(11:24:47 PM) Preston Chang: where you going
(11:24:48 PM) Preston Chang: what class
(11:24:52 PM) Preston Chang: and they'll usually ask the same
(11:24:56 PM) Eric Chen: true
(11:24:58 PM) Preston Chang: and that's it!
(11:25:08 PM) Eric Chen: do you know what i did once?
(11:25:15 PM) Preston Chang: and if you keep walking then by then you won't even have time to talk about all that
(11:25:16 PM) Preston Chang: what?
(11:25:32 PM) Eric Chen: i said hi twice once
(11:25:34 PM) Eric Chen: it was hialr
(11:25:46 PM) Eric Chen: to someone
(11:25:48 PM) Preston Chang: YOU WOULD
(11:25:50 PM) Eric Chen: got mee
(11:25:57 PM) Eric Chen: this was freshman year
(11:26:12 PM) Preston Chang: how awkward was it, on a scale of 1-10?
(11:26:17 PM) Eric Chen: 7
(11:26:20 PM) Preston Chang: 10 being "oh my gosh i want to run away" awkward
(11:26:41 PM) Eric Chen: LOL
(11:26:43 PM) Eric Chen: oh yeah
(11:26:47 PM) Eric Chen: i found out who the girl was
(11:26:50 PM) Eric Chen: that i saw on the bus
(11:26:57 PM) Eric Chen: but didin't know if she knew me
(11:27:02 PM) Eric Chen: it was kimberly or something
(11:27:15 PM) Preston Chang: haha nice
(11:27:35 PM) Preston Chang: eric you ask the questions that everyone (including me) is thinking
(11:27:37 PM) Preston Chang: i like that
(11:27:43 PM) Preston Chang: like the one you asked before
(11:27:45 PM) Eric Chen: aw tnaks
(11:27:46 PM) Preston Chang: what was it?
(11:27:49 PM) Eric Chen: thanks*
(11:27:51 PM) Preston Chang: oh like the bus situation?
(11:28:18 PM) Preston Chang: if you're facing someone you know but don't know their name so you didn't say hi to them?
(11:28:31 PM) Eric Chen: omgosh!
(11:28:32 PM) Eric Chen: i hate that
(11:28:59 PM) Eric Chen: and i dont' know whether to do a head nod, wave, or just say hi
(11:29:07 PM) Eric Chen: if i see somone
(11:29:11 PM) Eric Chen: i usually stick with wave
(11:29:20 PM) Eric Chen: more obvious then head nod
(11:29:26 PM) Preston Chang: yep
(11:29:34 PM) Preston Chang: head nod i reserve for people i don't know that well
(11:29:43 PM) Preston Chang: or like, those people you always see in your classes but don't actually know their name
(11:29:52 PM) Eric Chen: LOL
(11:29:57 PM) Eric Chen: i ignore those ppl

about [a rocket to the moon - life of the party] -- i like this song. 'tis all. :]

[facts about me, 3]
-when i was younger, i used to go to the bathroom and love making myself pee until i got to a full stream, and then immediately stop as fast as i could, and then pee full stream, and then stop, and continue that cycle until i couldn't pee anymore. i loved that feeling of relief.
-in the same vein, i LOVE that feeling of falling asleep when i'm mad tired. so, when i was younger, i used to set my alarm clock for like, 4 in the morning on a weekend. this way, when it woke me up in the middle of the night, i would be able to turn it off and then feel that GLORIOUS feeling of falling asleep again. kind of like waking up to your alarm clock in the morning, except in this case, it's so much more awesome-feeling because you're allowed to fall back asleep.
-when i was younger, and i slept in a sleeping bag, my dad told me that if i ever put my head under the covers for an extended period of time, i would die. i believed him, and was deathly (no pun intended) afraid of putting my head under the covers. one time, i was crawling around in my [zipped up] sleeping bag and i lost my way out, and for those 20 seconds as i was looking for the opening, i thought i was going to die. that was mad scary.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

a wave tossed in the ocean

what's playing: playradioplay! is a band i discovered recently. their music is trance-y.. and very interesting. not quite like anything i've heard before.

what defines each of us as a person?

is it what we do? what we say? what we think?

for every person that i know, i can think of something for which i would think, "that's so ________!" (like robert with his "something iffy is going on here..." face of skepticism, or eric with his spontaneous "HAHA GOT ME!" expression)

people have their own personality traits, characteristics, and mannerisms, that's for sure. but are those what define a person?

which brings me to the question.. can people change?

here. think about your younger 5-year old self. and then your 12-year old self. and now your present self.

are you the same person?
have you changed?
have you grown?
does growth imply change?
are you still the same you back then?

i wonder if i've changed.. i often hear people say that i've grown, but what does that actually mean?

compared to, say, five years ago, i can think of a few differences. i've gotten more comfortable with social situations, more outgoing. i've gotten more "mature" by learning from different experiences that i've been through. i've gotten more knowledgeable through the regular intake of information around me, and school and stuff.

but am i different? i'm still the same old me, right? really, i'm asking you that. for however long you've known me, have i changed at all? after all, you would be the one to notice, not myself.

let's say for example you have a car. and say you replace each part of the car piece by piece, until every piece of the car has been swapped with a new one. you still end up with a car, "your" car, but now it has entirely different pieces. is it still your same original car? at which point (which piece?) did it change?

this analogy kind of misses out on the whole aspect of the human mind, which is kind of a big deal, but you get what i'm saying. when it comes to a human being, is there an "essence" or "soul" of a person that doesn't change, even if their external surface (words, actions) changes?

over time, we mature and adjust the way that we think about things. the way that we make decisions. the way that we prioritize. the way that we live, quite frankly.

but sometimes, i hear the line, "you're a good person. don't ever change."

what does that second part mean exactly?
do we have the choice to change ourselves into bad people?
is that supposed to be encouragement to not do bad stuff, going off of the assumption that what we do defines us?
does that mean we should only make good changes to ourselves?
what makes a good change "good"?

what do you think?
can someone change?
what makes someone who they are?
is there a concrete and permanent identity for each person?

.. have you changed recently?

[wouldn't you like to know]
-when i was younger, i often went with my parents to chinese restaurants. i would see other people have cans of soda, and i would ask my parents if i could get one too. they always told me that other people brought it themselves, because then i would know i couldn't get one since the restaurant didn't have any, and that i would never have thought ahead enough to ask to bring a soda before we left for the restaurant. tricky. very tricky.
-i always cherish gifts i receive. and so, when i receive gifts that are use-able or edible, i always hold onto it and put it on my shelf or something so i don't use it up. that's why i tend to not like "perishable" gifts, because then i feel bad not using/eating the gift, but then i would personally feel bad if i did because the gift is gone! but eventually, it'll go bad and go to waste, so then i'd feel bad again! because of internal conflicts like these, i end up with uneaten chocolate penguins in their original packaging that i got for christmas maybe two years ago .. and i JUST might get around to eating them. but probs not.
-you know the kneepits of jeans, where the creases are? and when you sit down and you stretch out your legs and you can feel them? i love feeling them.